Well, I faced a very hard truth today. I have been taking care of myself physically, but not emotionally. Which is probably why I have been so down lately. I have to realize that I have to take care of all of me, not worry about the baby or my family or my husband, and concentrate on me. That means taking some personal time, do things I enjoy (at least what I can)., and not worry about being a good mother right now. My son will know me later, but only if I take care of myself now.
Someone asked me today to step out of myself and look at me/my life as someone else would. It was scary. I am a first time mom, with a 5 month old, whose husband is 5000 miles away, was uprooted from my home to deal with this life threatening illness, living with family members and requiring around the clock care. I can't even get my prescriptions filled, because I can't drive.
I am so thankful for modern day technology. My husband and I facetime (like Skype) everynight. I know he can't physically hug me, but when he tells me he is, I can feel it. I miss him so much.
Happy Birthday to my Mother-in-Law, Susie! Without you, I couldn't have gotten this far.
Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers. Friends out there....its ok, you can call me if you want :)
I think that's an important realization. I'm sure it's been hard to take care of yourself emotionally with all that has happened the last few months. Just having a baby, in and of itself, is a big adjustment that many of us struggle with. And then having an illness on top of that . . . Well, I'm sure it's been hard to do the things you used to do that help you find balance. I'm praying that you will be able to reflect on what those things are that help you feel more like yourself, and can start to incorporate them back into your life as you experience joy in the day-to-day.
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