I feel extremely frustrated with my situation right now. I feel better, but yet I'm not. I want to go do stuff on my own, and can't. I want to eat foods like pepper, without thinking twice, but I must not. This is all stemming from yesterday's encounter at the clinic when I was told that it was pretty much a can NOT do to go to Hawaii after Day 100. I don't see why not. First of all, they don't have the flu in Hawaii and if they do, it is usually contained within the "tourist" population. Second of all, that's where I currently live. They are telling me I can't go home! I WANT TO GO HOME! And only for a week or two. Out of rebellion, today I ate a donut from Casey's which I'm not allowed to eat and made it worse by it being a Day Old donut. Then at dinner, I ate cold roast beef. I may regret this, but I was just at a point today where I just wanted to say ^&*%$ it! (I at least microwaved my pepper)
I am just going to keep doing what I'm doing and prove to these doctors that there are people who can make it through recovery in 100 days. Just like I proved to Dr. McGuirk that I wasn't going to die in my hospital bed of a bad attitude. And how I proved to them that it doesn't always get worse before it gets better.
Obviously, I am having a pretty bad day. I did a good job of covering it up. I didn't want to ruin my parent's visit with Kellan.
One day at a time, tomorrow will be better....
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